Archive for November, 2013

I’ve been struggling with this faith thing for quite a while, trying to make sense out of what happened. Trying to figure out how to reconcile myself to the reality. Trying to figure out where I am in terms of religion and belief. For Hadley, I’ve been fully supporting the idea of heaven and that the spirits of those who have passed are always with us. I mostly believe that, but part of me feels like I’m being a bit dishonest. So I’ve been trying to find a church that feels like it fits, hoping that when I find that…actually, I don’t know what I’m trying to find. Comfort, maybe?  When I decided to try another church today, I didn’t think about this Sunday being All Saints Sunday.

“Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tussle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end. Love doesn’t.” (“The Five People You Meet in Heaven,” Mitch Albom)

A portion of the message was about the blessing of mourning. I’ve never thought of it that way. The mourning exists because of the loss of a love. We are blessed because we got to experience that love. It is awful that it is gone. It is an unfathomable pain that no one can ever be prepared for. But if the only way to have less pain is to have had less love, it’s not worth it. I used a passage from Khalil Gibran’s “The Prophet” at Jim’s funeral. It addresses the same idea. I’ve read it many times; today is the first time I’ve thought about it in terms of a blessing.

“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.” (“The Prophet,” Khalil Gibran)

I don’t think the church was the right fit, but I’m glad we went today. It was a message I needed to hear.



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