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Archive for June, 2013

Sometimes I look at this little girl of ours and am amazed at how she’s turned into this lovely little person. She is loving, generous, empathetic, opinionated, sensitive, and just a wonderful human being (I know…I’m biased.). We’ve been having some rough patches like tantrums and regular 5 year old things, but also things like not wanting anyone to be different and not wanting herself to be different because her dad’s not here. I can’t fix either of those things but I try to talk to her about them the best I can. I’m probably not really doing it “right,” but it’s the best I can do.

Anyway, I’ve been looking at some pictures and thought I’d share some of them.

Who doesn't like a daisy headband?

Who doesn’t like a daisy headband?

IMAG0088

Just a year and a half ago.

Lemonade Day 2013

Lemonade Day 2013

I really think she’s awesome and I tell her that all the time. I hope she always remembers it. She may not have her dad here with her, but that’s not what makes her different. What makes her different is her beautiful soul.

 

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The Ring

This weekend, I took off my wedding ring and put it away. It’s felt like more of a prop for a while, anyway. Another way to hide. It keeps questions away and it keeps me from feeling as if I might be being judged when it’s just Hadley and me out and about. I joked with my friend that I was taking it off in preparation of this picnic we’re going to, but that’s not true. I’ve been thinking about taking it off over the past few weeks. I don’t know what changed; I think it just started to seem like such a charade. “You and no other.” That’s what our bands say. We loved our rings because they are so simple. But the band doesn’t really tie me to Jim anymore. It’s just a thing. He’s not wearing his; mine is flying solo. I’ve been carrying both of them in my pocket for the last couple of days, planning to go to a jeweler to have them design a piece containing them both. I still want to do that. But if it doesn’t happen, Jim will still be in my heart and I will always remember the day we got married.

He wouldn’t want me to stay stuck, I know he wouldn’t.

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