Archive for June, 2010

This was our conversation last night.

Me: It’s time for dinner Hadley.

Hadley: Just a minute. I’m doing something.  Be there in a minute. I’m a little busy.

This is what she was doing.

Apparently, there are assigned seats.

Hadley likes to put things where they are supposed to go.  She spent quite a few minutes figuring out which bowl was the right size for which toy.  There was quite a bit of rearranging as more toys were added to the group.

Then there was this one:

Time out, everyone!

Every single toy came out of her wagon (otherwise known as the mobile toybox) and was put on the couch.  When I asked why, she said, “They are in time OUT!”  I never got clear on what they’d done to be sentenced as a group.  But they must be pretty rowdy, because someone is always in time out.

For me, there is one thing that definitely has its place.  And it will always be exactly where it needs to be.

My favorite little girl.


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Jealousy and Silence

Year 3 is an odd place emotionally.  There’s happiness, but it’s a paler shade of happiness than it used to be.  And there’s jealousy.  I find myself being jealous of couples I see out and about.  I see someone open a door for their partner and I’m jealous; I hear someone say to their spouse on the phone, “I love you,” and I’m angry that I don’t have those conversations anymore.  I miss so many things I don’t think I could pinpoint the one thing I miss the most.   I just wish he was still here.

Year 3 also brought with it increased bottling up of emotions.  I feel as if there really isn’t anyone to talk to about how I feel because who still wants to hear about this?  And who wants to hang out with someone who has death near the forefront of her brain?  So it’s easier to keep it all to myself.  I can have my crying jags where no one sees them.  I can feel hopeless and no one will notice.  Then I put my game face back on and everyone thinks I’m fine.

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