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Archive for February, 2010

Things

Jim had a grand plan of how his workshop would eventually look.  He was well on his way to getting there, with just a few large pieces of machinery still to come.  Which means that our garage is full of tools that I will never use.  He liked to build things and he’d started getting into furniture making.  We have some beautiful things in our house thanks to his efforts.  Actually, there is quite a lot of the house that has him in it.  We did the painting and the flooring ourselves, and among the things he’d built is a mantle from reclaimed lumber; a china cabinet; and a lovely large entertainment center turned armoire for Hadley.

I’ve always known that I would need to sell his tools.  But, like many other things, I wanted to hold onto them because they were his.  And because holding onto his things means I’m still holding onto him.  I know rationally that he’s not really in any of these things.  The memories are mine, regardless of the things that are around me.  Yet I hold on.

But a random visit from a friend pushed me into letting a little bit go.  My friend happened to be thinking about buying a planer.  And Jim had one nearly identical to what he was considering.  So with no good reason for keeping it, I sold it.  With mixed feelings and some regret.

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Little Bits

There are a lot of little things here and there that are funny, or thought provoking, or I just want to say aloud.  Instead of random short posts, I’m going to do them all together in one.  I mean, they’re little bits.  A bunch of little bits should make a decent sized entry, right?

Anything will do for a hat...even one from a stuffed animal.

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Apparently, Hadley has the ability to stay up late.  Really late.  For days in a row.  I don’t know how some parents can get their children into the routine of going to bed at 8 and sleeping on until morning.  I’d like the instructions on doing that, please.  I’m lucky if she is asleep in less than an hour after I first take her up to bed.  And last week, she had two nights in which she managed to stay up until 11.  That does not a relaxed mommy make!

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I got my first unsolicited “I love you” last week.  It melted my heart.  And it makes it easier to forget about the night I only got 3 hours of sleep and they were not consecutive.

Who could resist this??

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I made my first pitcher of iced tea since Jim passed away.  He loved my iced tea.  Said it was better than any other tea he’d ever tasted.  It’s possible that he was just saying that because he was always very encouraging and appreciative of the things I did, but I think I do make pretty decent tea.  Anyway, I stopped making it.  Still drank it, but it was store bought tea.  Until Friday night.  Friday night I decided it was time to stop paying others for doing the work for me.  But I only made a half gallon.  One of the hard parts in all of this is downsizing the quantities of things from two people to one.  I throw out a lot of food because I still shop as if he were here.  I’ll figure that out someday.  But for now I will feel like maybe a thaw is coming because I managed to make the iced tea.

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I am a human jukebox.  Hadley learned that when she realized I understood her signs for the song “Cold Spaghetti” or whatever it’s really called.  She’d change from spaghetti to potato to banana and I’d change right along with her.  So now, she’ll throw out whatever random words come from the song she wants and expect me to start singing.  Which, of course, I do.  The listing grows every day and now includes such classics as “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt” and “Baby Bumblebee.”  There’s also something I think is from one of the dinosaur’s songs and I only know 7 or 8 words from it but that seems to be enough.

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She likes to go out in the snow but doesn’t like to walk in it.  We need to get a sled.

I'm ready for the snow!

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She’s a darling little girl and I’m so very lucky to have her in my life.

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